
Catholics are stereotyped as the religion that lays on the guilt trip, that makes people feel that they are never good enough. Catholics, our critics say, go through life wringing their hands in anxiety about whether God really loves them and whether they will go to heaven. From their perspective, Catholics need to embrace the value of “self-esteem” and cultivate pride of self. In reality, Catholics have both an incredibly exalted view of the human person and a very pessimistic attitude about secular efforts (absent God) to increase self-esteem.
We are beings created in the image and likeness of God. Embodied souls who are adopted by God and lifted to a dignity, a value, and a destiny far beyond our natural state: we are beloved children of God through our Baptism. The Psalmist wonders at the amazing fact of our dignity as human beings, calling us “little less than the angels” (Psalm 8:5) God established us as the ones who would exercise His dominion (righteous rule) over all His Creation. We walk in the dust of the earth, made of the same stuff, yet we are destined for heaven, made children of almighty God—the work of His hand that He treasures (as Genesis 2:7 describes, we are formed of the ‘clay’ of the earth and breathed into life by the very breath of God).
And then comes Jesus! The Son of God exalts our human nature even more by taking it on—the Second Person of the Most Holy Trinity ennobled our humanity by assuming it. Without losing His divinity, He became human. He loved with a human heart. He learned and thought with a human brain. He felt and expressed Himself with a human body. His humanity veiled, but did not diminish, His divinity. After the Resurrection, He showed us in mysterious ways the capabilities of a glorified, Risen body. And He went to heaven, body and soul, to prepare a place for us as well. He promises, and we profess, that someday we will be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.
With the incarnation, human beings take on a dignity far beyond even God’s initial creation and love for us. Now, we are loved by the Father in the same way that He loves His Only Begotten Son—think about that next time you are feeling worthless and useless (John 16:27)!
“Man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully comprehend himself except through a sincere gift of himself.”
Gaudium et spes, 24 (Second Vatican Council)
Yet, that high opinion of humanity is only part of the story. We Catholics recognize the fallen nature of human beings—that, while we may be good at our core, we are tempted and attracted by evil and by self-exaltation. We are made in God’s image and likeness, yes, but we have Original Sin to grapple with—our natural grace was lost and our human nature damaged, and now we seek God with confused, distracted, and disrupted hearts. We fail to do the good we want to. We do the wrong things we don’t want to (Romans 7:25). Humans have a great capacity to commit evil, all the while justifying and rationalizing it in ways that leave our hearts wounded by sin, unwilling to (and finally incapable of) confessing our guilt and seeking mercy from God. Unrepentant sinners! Hypocritical judges! We congratulate ourselves for our courage and power even as we murder the innocents and destroy innocence. We convince ourselves and each other that down is up, that backwards is forward, that evil is good (or that nothing, in the end, is evil if we want to justify doing it).
We desperately want to hide the truth from ourselves, and we’ll do just about anything to avoid facing the truth of our failings. And so, instead of experiencing contrition and confession, we say we need to reject the guilt that weighs us down. While drowning in the mud pit of sin, we claim we need to build up our pride and self-esteem and stop feeling bad about ourselves—we are okay just as we are! And if we aren’t, well let’s do anything other than face it!
When we pursue “feeling good about ourselves” outside of a relationship with God, it will leave us broken and empty and despairing. We sense the emptiness inside when we pursue goals other than holiness and union with God. Rather than encourage us to turn back to the Lord and be healed, our culture rages at us to give up those antiquated notions of our neediness and dependence on a “higher power.” Fill that hole in yourself with stuff—that’ll make you happy, especially if you have more and better stuff than the people you compare yourself to! Fill that emptiness with pleasure—go ahead and pursue it by using other people or by eating and drinking way past satiation (all the time not facing what’s really ‘eating’ us). Fill the emptiness in your heart with the affirmation and acclaim of others—and if others don’t recognize you with appropriate obsequiousness, attack them! If you know something’s lacking within you, be sure to hide it well—other people will take advantage of you. From a worldly perspective, the way to gain self esteem is to exercise power—to be an influencer, a judge, a voice that must be obeyed. Gaining power through manipulation, mockery, violence, threats, lies, or abuse is okay—it’s what you need to feel whole and have good self-esteem.
All these empty messages and empty promises leave those who buy into them as empty shells, despairing and desperate—and usually turning to use even more of the same faulty means that failed before. Our communication devices, the centrality of social media, and the breakdown of so many of our social institutions make us turn inward and use our inner state of happiness to judge the value of everything and everyone around us. This is the calamity of the “selfie” way of life—of keeping the narrative about ourselves, our reactions and judgments about everything, the value we place on everything as it relates to us. It seems the only way we can experience an idea, a creation, a behavior or a person is to judge and evaluate it. I like it. I don’t like it. I think it’s stupid. I could do that better. Our culture seems to be creating this response in us at a fever pitch—and it doesn’t help. Look at the statistics for suicide, self-harm, depression, anxiety and relationship troubles. When it’s all about me, I can’t get enough of me to fill me up!
We’re all sin addicts, “selfie” addicts—turning again and again to the same wells that always run dry, that leave us ashamed and thirsty and alone. What is the way out of this dilemma? Are we doomed to “curse God and die?”
No! Jesus Christ came so that we might have life and have it to the full! Jesus came so that we could find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in Him. God, as our Creator, is the only true source of the happiness we seek.
When my younger sister was in middle school and I was in high school, she developed anorexia nervosa. As I witnessed her rapid weight loss with growing alarm, she also became less willing to engage and more inwardly focused. My parents sought ways to confront the problem, and they finally found a good therapist that could help her. As she fought her way back to mental and physical health, I was filled with concern and fear. I was grieving how my sister, who had always been my best friend, was no longer reaching out to me. I didn’t know how to help her, and so I retreated by immersing myself even more in school and activities. As a part of her recovery, her therapist encouraged her to write me a letter. She gave me her letter, along with a pillow on which she had attached an embroidered picture of a bird and a mouse sitting as friends (which I still treasure to this day!). In her letter, she apologized for the ways she had shut me out, and she talked a bit about the struggles she had been going through.
While not placing all the blame on me in her letter, she admitted that one (of many) of the reasons why she had developed an eating disorder was by comparing herself to me. From her perspective, I had better grades, was more involved in school life, and had achieved more than she had. She could never measure up and “win” against me, except she knew she was more disciplined and able to lose weight better than I. Her :losing” in the face of all my “success” was eating her up, literally, and so she starved herself to deal with the pain and to find a way to assert some control over her life.
I was devastated by her admission. I had no idea. I had been trying to do all the right things, to be good—and it had backfired in a way I had never intended. I love my sister, yet I had hurt her; but not by doing mean things to her. I had hurt her by doing good things, by doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing. What could I make of this? The unfortunate lesson I took away is that I was the kind of person who could hurt the ones I love without meaning to. There was a brokenness and toxicity about me, I believed, that made my actions hurt the ones I loved in ways I didn’t anticipate and couldn’t avoid. People were better off without me in their lives. The ones I loved most were the ones I had to protect from myself. Who else would I unintentionally hurt? This was something that lodged deep into my heart and thoughts. The wound was persistent and seemed to “flare up” as I confronted loss and challenges and disappointments that are inevitable in life. Rather than immersing myself into relationships, perhaps I and the ones I loved were better off if I just focused on “doing” things—good things, of course! If I focused on school, on work, on career, on admiration and affirmation from others, then I could remove myself from intimacy. That way I could never again unintentionally hurt someone I loved.
Thankfully, my sister and I were able to recover our friendship, and I treasure her in my life to this day. What was the spiritual journey required of both of us? To lose our fascination and obsession with ourselves and our wounded, broken ways of avoiding pain. My sister had turned inward to deal with the pain of not measuring up, of feeling “less than” and not good enough. As she rejected this falsehood about herself, she woke up to the beautiful, astonishing world around her that could capture her attention and receive her amazing contributions. I, in turn, had to learn not to turn inward from pain as well. As I grappled with the reality of how to respond to another person’s pain and dis-ease, I had to avoid believing lies about myself. I was lovable, and my love was life-giving and valuable to others. The worst thing I could do in my sorrow was to turn inward and build up a shell to protect my loved ones from myself. I had to stop focusing on myself—poor me for being so misunderstood!—and start living in the creative freedom of being in relationship with others. Learning to trust, over and over, in the power that comes from ceding control of outcomes to the Lord. Learning to trust, over and over, in the power that comes from being vulnerable and compassionate. In the months and years following my sister’s successful battle against her eating disorder, both my sister and I learned the dangers of focusing on oneself while trying to develop a healthy self-esteem and healthy relationships.
“We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place for those who love us.”
St. Bernard of Clairvaux
The problem with a desperate search for self-esteem is that it isn’t an end that can be pursued for itself. Godly self-esteem is the result of a life lived for a greater purpose than self-exaltation. Self-esteem, paradoxically, comes about when we become captivated by God and by our love for others and think less often of ourselves. (as C.S. Lewis put it: not to think less of ourselves, but to spend less time thinking of ourselves!)
Catholics have an answer to the worldly pursuit of self-esteem: keep your focus on the love of Our Lord Jesus Christ and grow in the virtue of humility. Humility is the capacity to be attentive to God—to forget self, not to reject or deny self. Humility is recognizing that every single person is as precious to God as you are. Humility is knowing that you are loved by God, and that you don’t have to compete for His love against others—God’s love multiplies, it never divides. Humility is recognizing that everything you possess—including your very life itself—is gift from God and not of your own doing. When we are humble, we are capable of truly recognizing, enjoying and celebrating all that God is doing—in others and in ourselves. We can rejoice in the achievements of anyone without feeling diminished—we’re all part of one another and we’re all dependent upon the same Father and giver of all good gifts after all!
How can we achieve the virtue of humility? By falling more deeply in love with God. The lover is the one eager to forget herself in order to honor her beloved. The lover’s focus is on seeking what is best for the beloved, of honoring and enjoying the gift of the relationship. All this is antithetical to the pride that destroys the humility in our heart. Humility, the word comes from a Latin term for “humus” or earth, is to keep ourselves grounded in the truth of who we are—we are beloved creatures of God raised to be His children, but we are NOT GOD. There is one God, one Lord of all, and it’s not us!
There are dangerous ways to achieve humility. If we seek humility by humiliating ourselves, we will fail. The humiliated person is absolutely turned in on themselves, nursing wounds, rehearsing retorts, carrying grudges—humiliation is not humility! Being humble does not mean we allow others to humiliate us and think we deserve to be treated in cruel or abusive ways. Being humble also means we avoid humiliating others to build up our own self-esteem. It is especially grievous when someone tries to destroy another person’s prideful attitude by humiliating them—how can we dare imagine we are competent judges of the heart and soul of another human being? Taking on the role of putting other people in their place never serves to increase our own humility—in fact, our own sinful pride grows as we justify our actions by using ourselves as the standard to which others must conform.
We also dare not become humble by rejecting or making little of the gifts God has given us. This effort is based on a falsehood, so it can’t last. It also rejects the Giver of the gift, turning our focus off Him and onto ourselves in a valiant effort to convince ourselves that we’re really not that special or not that gifted or not that important. If we are honest, we are usually seeking affirmation from someone else when we downplay ourselves. If we don’t receive that affirmation, we sulk and become resentful of the fact that no one appreciates us and all that we have to offer. No: pretending to not have talents or gifts is an ineffective way to be humble.
How do we grow in humility? Gratitude builds humility. Being grateful for the blessings, talents and gifts that God provides keeps our focus on the Giver, not on us as the recipient. A good sense of humor builds humility—laughing at oneself (not in derision but in joy at our silliness) keeps us from taking everything so seriously. When we are filled with mirth and good humor, we can “laugh it off” when something wounds our pride—and then be over it! Disciplining and guarding your heart so that it prizes God above all things is the best way to grow in humility—and this does take a tremendous amount of effort in our culture.
Humility is heavenly. When we grow in humility, we experience the successes and the excellence we achieve with true joy. Without the poison of pride (and the “fake” self-esteem that’s really a form of idolatry), we are not filled with anxiety about when it’ll all end, when the charade will be over and when people will find out what we’re really like and we’ll fade into meaninglessness again. A humble person doesn’t need “fifteen minutes of fame” or any other substitute for God—we’ve been claimed by Christ and we live IN Christ. All that Jesus has done, is doing and will do affects us, is a part of us, lives in us—what could possibly be more amazing than that?! Compared with the inexhaustible wealth of heaven of which we are heirs, what is the wealth, pleasure, power or fame we could earn on earth really worth?
To be humble is to see things as they really are. And seeing things as they really are is exhilarating, compelling, captivating! We can run this race. We can dance to God’s music. We can achieve God’s wildest ambition for us—to be saints. Who has time to guard and obsess over self-esteem when we could instead be filled with love for Christ? And once we get the love of Christ firmly fixed as the center of our existence, well, self-esteem—healthy and Godly self-esteem—fills us up with joy, vitality, and energy.
“Humility has nothing at all to do with timidity. … The humble person is daring because he counts upon the grace of Almighty God.”
Francis Fernandez, In Conversation With God, Volume 5, page 362
From the Catholic perspective, self-esteem is rooted in the fact that Jesus Christ considered us (and every human being) worth dying for. The Father loved us (and every human being) with so much love that He sent His only Son to give His life for us so that we might live forever with Him in heaven. When we chase after self-esteem as an end in itself, we lose the capacity to build true self-esteem which comes about as a by-product of loving Christ. The love Christ has for us shines a light into our souls that is so much brighter, clearer and effective that the ways we try to light up our own selves apart from him. In the light of Jesus’ love for us, our life shines brighter and more beautifully than we could ever imagine—and, with a humble heart, we can only exclaim in amazement: “for the wonder that I am, I thank you God!” (Psalm 139)










